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Wonderful. I really like to see the development of thought in the two different version. I do prefer the second one, but I can aso see a third one emerging from it. It's like you are working towards a short poem, like a haiku, trying to capture the essence of it all.

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Thank you for the feedback, Arjun. Given time, poems do all get shorter. I'm glad you mentioned haikus; poetry in pictographic script is fascinating because of how much meaning you can retain even after a protracted shearing.

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