Self-Censorship
Some secrets are to be discovered in the future when it lands, not one second earlier.
Self-Censorship
Bosses visited. Not their first time
in China, but it’d been long enough
for them to love it. Or at least say so
on the high-speed train from Beijing
through the windmill-dappled inland,
past state-of-the-art bridges and EVs
to amusement-park Shanghai. It isn’t
as I remember it, they said. Of course
I put up with their gushing, resisted
rolling my eyes when they complained
they couldn’t send a tweet. Insights
came to me — though likely others
noticed too — the insanity of $8 coffee,
of watering the asphalt, the need
of a Chinese ID to book most hotels.
We passed a man on the street
bent over spare parts, repairing fans
for a buck-fifty. We passed empty
rows of apartments. The economy
is at an inflection point, they were told,
local economists and academics all
more pessimistic about the future
than they. All that glitters, I suppose.
They delighted in the craft beer,
the newly shaded alleys, cat cafés.
We drank and ate too much, cheese
dumplings and numbing hotpot,
sucking air through our teeth, ranting
on American politics and Michelin bullshit.
They added Chinese coins to their handbag
of exotic languages, alongside ahlan,
annyeonghaseyo, cześć. Tangping
was their favorite, meaning “lie flat,”
a form of quiet quitting among
Chinese millennials. I’m glad to see
you haven’t tangping, they said
as I whisked them from subway to
construction site to Xinjiang diner.
The sun blistered our skin. John Kerry
could’ve accomplished more, they said,
adding, No one probably cares.
On their final night, they paid for dinner
through an app, beaming, I can’t believe
all the things you can do on your phone,
and, It’s about time WeChat linked
to American credit cards. I admit
to a bit of satisfaction recognizing
the conveniences I took for granted.
And the tradeoff, what our relatives
gave up, told as they were, Stay out
of politics and we’ll make you rich.
I pondered the future that awaits,
what changes I’ll see before others
while living in this ongoing experiment
of humanity: how to control humans.
We signed up through a swipe and tap.
I won’t tell them, I think. Some secrets
are to be discovered in the future
when it lands, not one second earlier.
When they left, I did feel tired, in need
of a nice liedown. On my phone
I ordered takeout and watched videos
until I forgot things I wanted to say.
🔥